Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
"How I would save star Trek discovery"
#1
This is an attempt after veiwing most of the fans reactions

The new Star Trek discovery series seems to be in deep S#$%
Money grubbibg execs
bad writing
issues with merchandising
monthly access fees

Well 
@"guohua" 

You said the should hire me to write it

Well I can solve it with a monologue in the first few minutes then run the series

One actress

Mira Furlan

Quote:Mira Furlan (born 7 September 1955) is a Croatian actress and singer. Internationally, she is best known for her roles as the MinbariAmbassador Delenn on all five seasons of the science fiction television series Babylon 5 (1993–98), and as Danielle Rousseau on Lost.

One alien race
Na'kuhl

So without further ado

My own little short

Death of the dream
_____________________________________



A boot pulls the old blade from back of a now dead facedown humanoid in a purpleish uniform.. The figure is slowly dancing as it sings in slightly broken english, "..cause Im the Queen of wishfull thinking.."

Standing in front of an archlike structure.."Oh Danlen.. Did you really think that you people won the temporal cold war.. That you have stopped and erased the N'Kuhl.. "

The Na'Kuhl female spits on the dead agent, "The mighty federation.. "

Insanely the attractive Na'Kuhl female dances as she keeps singing..

"The Gaurdian of forever.." She walks back over to the dead body and stabs it in the head, "You humans have a phrase.. Double tap.. Yousee.." She pont to the guardian, "I have study human history.. My mate you had Archer kill.. Now revenge is mine.."

Explosions fill the air as starfleet officers can be heard screaming in pain.

Her laughter fills the area near the guardian..

"You see Danlen.. I realised something no race has ever defeated the federation long term.. Sword, Guns, Phasers and Photon Torpedoes.. The Dominin, Klingons, Romulans, Cardassians, Suliban, Augments, Sona, even the feared Borg and their enemies Species 8472.. Undine.. Not a single one extracted a victory.."

The woman sings as the sounds of the few starfleet personel approach..

"Suckers.." The Na'kuhl female laughs as several gasses rise into the air, "War crimes.. From human history.. You see.. I have Realized what Silik, Khan, Dukat, the Borg Queen, and countless others never did.. You cant beat an idea with forces.."

Cries of agony come from around the area..

"Bio weapons mixed with mustard gas," Kicking the dead body as hard as she could.. Looking at the gaurdian of forever, "You see I am doing what they never envisioned.. I am attacking the federations greatest strength.. I am going to subvert the dream.. Its not that hard.. A small note here.. Small note there.. And tada.."

One sound of Agony reaches her, "That sounds like Pee Card.." Laughing, "You see I am going to destroy the dream.. Ny getting you humans to do it to yourself.."

"Ne..Never," A voice almost unrecognizable fills the air..  A rifle falls to the ground and the human does not get up..

"Not Pee card," Laughing.. "Kirk.. You see.. Danlen.. This is already happening.. I stole from one of your best fiction stories ever.." Walking over se stabs the dead male, "I have already done it.. Now I am just keeping you busy.. Gaurdian.. Initiate security protocol Deluk four..."

The Gaurdian hums and seems to glow..

The Na'Kuhl females laughter fills the whole area..

_____________________

Then they just run their show

Maybe pay her to laugh at the end of an episode or two .. maybe hints and different actresses playing small parts.. Like recording something..
play a certain song everytime she is in the scene..

ta da temporary band aide
#2
The idea

The actress with known sci fi credits and gravatis for the nerd fandom

Gaurdian of forever

Dead body

monologing

got the federation to destroy itself
from the inside

oh, and like a great scifi story of the humans.. She has already done it
______________________




first off..

two shoots cheaply done
make up
sets

first is the script

then the actress does her version of what she thinks the character will do


you do not let the cast see the shoot
tell them nothing about what you have done

An ongoing C story you build
#3








‘Star Trek: Discovery’ Star Jason Isaacs Says “I Don’t Care About The Die-Hard Trek Fans”

Quote:[img=750x0]http://cdn1.sciencefiction.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/jason-isaac-star-trek-discovery.jpg[/img]
CBS’s newest televised incarnation of one of their oldest franchises, ‘Star Trek: Discovery,’ was already having a rough go of it during the show’s production: there were multiple premiere-date delays, the initial looks into the visuals of the show seemed odd to many fans, and the creative team couldn’t keep their story straight as to the background of certain characters.
In a move that makes the phrase “head-scratcher” seem almost too tame, ‘Discovery’ star Jason Isaacs took the time in a recent interview to essentially insult long-time fans of the franchise.  When asked about his thoughts on fans’ reactions so far and what viewers may think when the show premieres next month, he had this to say:

Quote:“I don’t mean to sound irreverent when I say I don’t care about the die-hard Trek fans. I only ‘don’t care’ about them in the sense that I know they’re all going to watch anyway. I look forward to having the fun of them being outraged, so they can sit up all night and talk about it with each other. It’s ‘Star Trek,’ but not as we know it. There are places obviously where they’ve observed canon to do with things like uniforms and badges and stuff, but there are places where the rules of storytelling are reinvented.”

Isaacs’ statements are also directly at odds with the creative team for the show, who have stated that they’ve worked hard to “respect canon” throughout the creation of ‘Discovery.’  Fans, of course, questioned this statement as well, seeing as how the look of the show in all videos and images released by CBS thus far seem like a visual far cry from ‘Enterprise’ or ‘The Original Series,’ the two ‘Star Trek’ shows that the new show is sandwiched between in the Trek timeline.
Isaacs went on to wax poetic about the world we live in today and other semi-dramatic stuff like that:

Quote:“I don’t know how to explain the anarchy and chaos. One of the things I can do as a storyteller is be part of stories that hold up a vision for the future where we just do better.”

For better or worse, fans don’t have long to wait to get a good look at full episodes of the series.
‘Star Trek: Discovery’ will premiere September 24, 2017, on CBS, before moving to the CBS All Access paid streaming-only service for all future episodes.
#4
@"Armonica_Templar" 
I agree with you and I Know You Could write a movie we both would want to see.
Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
[Image: attachment.php?aid=936]
#5
Hollywood needs to get out of politics, and back into entertainment.
#6



It is a problem I have ran into writing..

Describe the smell of Dog S@#$ to the reader and leave them with the impression they are standing in it..

The creators of Star Trek discovery are better writers then me in this respect, for they have done it with a whole series and I am still struggling with scenes..
#7
(09-20-2017, 10:12 PM)Armonica_Templar Wrote: It is a problem I have ran into writing..

Describe the smell of Dog S@#$ to the reader and leave them with the impression they are standing in it..

The creators of Star Trek discovery are better writers then me in this respect, for they have done it with a whole series and I am still struggling with scenes..

It's acrid. The smell is usually of processed meat and is bitter to our olfactory senses.
Dog foul insults the person's basic self-belief because of the taboo of not interacting with bodily waste.
From our evolutionary path, we've learned that faeces can have harmful diseases.
Of course, this includes excrement from any species.

However... if we stand in a pile of it, at that particular moment there's no actual effect. The negative
only comes from the knowledge that we have to clean it off. It's time-consuming, an observer's opinion
may change of the person trying to rid themselves of the mess without getting any on their hands and
also, our ego-protection mode is lowered.

Unlike dogs, we gain nothing from the smelly stuff and our social-boundaries demand dog-sh*t is
abhorrent.

I always recall an old tale told by a man who was sometimes contacted by the police in regards of
explosive material. This person blew up tall chimneys and buildings in a controlled environment for
a living and worked for companies and Governments.

One Saturday evening, a Police Officer called him on the telephone to tell him that someone believed
they'd found gelignite in some household coal. Many years ago, gelignite was used to blast the coal
seams out in open-cast mines. Because of occasional lax attitudes, sometimes the soft plastic explosive
would get through the process of washing and sorting, and actually end-up in peoples homes.

So safely taking the gelignite from the homeowner (that was on a shovel), this man pondered whether
more of the stuff may still be in the coal that had been delivered and so, went to the 'coal-house' to check.
In the UK, coal-houses -back in the day, were a small structure beside the outside toilet of around five
-feet square and just high enough for a human to stand in.

In the blackness of the unlit coal-house, the man carefully rummaged through the pile of col until he
came across something pliable. The unknown 'lump' felt like gelignite and was obviously different from
the hard chunks around it. The man squeezed it and gauged the texture in the darkness, knowing that
the flexible material could well be hazardous ordnance.
Then he heard a dog bark in the home and realised what he may have in his hand.

Jokingly, recalled that though he guessed he was massaging a chunk of old dog-sh*t, for some strange
reason he felt reluctant to put it down. He hadn't smelled it and since his focus had been on discovering
gelignite, for a few moments he continued to squeeze it.

That's my dog-sh*t story.
minusculethumbsup
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
#8
(09-21-2017, 10:36 AM)BIAD Wrote:
(09-20-2017, 10:12 PM)Armonica_Templar Wrote: It is a problem I have ran into writing..

Describe the smell of Dog S@#$ to the reader and leave them with the impression they are standing in it..

The creators of Star Trek discovery are better writers then me in this respect, for they have done it with a whole series and I am still struggling with scenes..

It's acrid. The smell is usually of processed meat and is bitter to our olfactory senses.
Dog foul insults the person's basic self-belief because of the taboo of not interacting with bodily waste.
From our evolutionary path, we've learned that faeces can have harmful diseases.
Of course, this includes excrement from any species.

However... if we stand in a pile of it, at that particular moment there's no actual effect. The negative
only comes from the knowledge that we have to clean it off. It's time-consuming, an observer's opinion
may change of the person trying to rid themselves of the mess without getting any on their hands and
also, our ego-protection mode is lowered.

Unlike dogs, we gain nothing from the smelly stuff and our social-boundaries demand dog-sh*t is
abhorrent.

I always recall an old tale told by a man who was sometimes contacted by the police in regards of
explosive material. This person blew up tall chimneys and buildings in a controlled environment for
a living and worked for companies and Governments.

One Saturday evening, a Police Officer called him on the telephone to tell him that someone believed
they'd found gelignite in some household coal. Many years ago, gelignite was used to blast the coal
seams out in open-cast mines. Because of occasional lax attitudes, sometimes the soft plastic explosive
would get through the process of washing and sorting, and actually end-up in peoples homes.

So safely taking the gelignite from the homeowner (that was on a shovel), this man pondered whether
more of the stuff may still be in the coal that had been delivered and so, went to the 'coal-house' to check.
In the UK, coal-houses -back in the day, were a small structure beside the outside toilet of around five
-feet square and just high enough for a human to stand in.

In the blackness of the unlit coal-house, the man carefully rummaged through the pile of col until he
came across something pliable. The unknown 'lump' felt like gelignite and was obviously different from
the hard chunks around it. The man squeezed it and gauged the texture in the darkness, knowing that
the flexible material could well be hazardous ordnance.
Then he heard a dog bark in the home and realised what he may have in his hand.

Jokingly, recalled that though he guessed he was massaging a chunk of old dog-sh*t, for some strange
reason he felt reluctant to put it down. He hadn't smelled it and since his focus had been on discovering
gelignite, for a few moments he continued to squeeze it.

That's my dog-sh*t story.
minusculethumbsup

I do want to get around to reading your stories but I want to finish what I m writing..

I do not want to accidentally steal anything uncounciously


I d like your style when you tell a tale, as expressed in just this last story over a quadraped with a tail
#9
I never knew about Star Trek Discovery until I read this. I do hope its better that the shorten version of its name. I just cant get excited about an S.T.D.   tinyshocked
#10
(09-21-2017, 07:58 PM)Armonica_Templar Wrote: I do want to get around to reading your stories but I want to finish what I m writing..
I do not want to accidentally steal anything uncounciously

I d like your style when you tell a tale, as expressed in just this last story over a quadraped with a tail

No problems, A.T and feel free to use anything in there!
minusculethumbsup
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
#11
I edited wikipedia for the fun of it

Fan Reception- Negative

Please note, a simple use of youtube and google indicates fans have a different opinion then the above listed Reception. Reception among fans differs from paid critics.

General out line of the main issues collected from searches
1)Paid subscription service
Most fans already pay for cable, internet, Hulu, and/or Netflix. This is a sticking point fans and viewers do not find acceptable

2)Mary sue accusations for main character
Finding out main character is Spock's long lost stepsister does qualify to fans and others as this trope. Please reference TV tropes for the outlines of Mary Sue/ Marty Stew characters

3)Behavior does not match background
A commander loyal for years will not turn on the Captain in an act of mutiny, out of the blue. Please study military history and command structures.

4)Klingons
Huge sticking point among fan base
a)purple klingons - visual change with no explanation
b)Cultural change - issue with action over the dead which is described as dishonorable
c)Politics used as a basis- the main changes to Klingons to link them to Trump Supporters

5)Characters
Summed up as lack of character development of rest of crew. No one stood out that the fans will pay to see more on

6)Writing style
Generally faulted as sub par compared to other series.

7)Accusations in comments sections
Paid advertisers by CBS
Please note: No evidence was list or provided but I am including this for psychological value indicating feelings of the fans

Fans positive response
1)Special effects was the shining point
Please note Glitches was down point of this

2)Budget
the show has money in the budget and the fans noted this
#12
I love Star Trek

Star Trek Original STO
Star Trek The Next Generation STNG
Star Trek Deep Space Nine STDS9
Star Trek Enterprise STE
Star Trek Voyager STV
Star Trek Discovery STD  tinybighuh  I dont think I will be clapping for this one.


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)