Jokes From My Time.

[BIAD]

I make no apologies for offence... it's not my problem!!




One of his classic gags was the one about the two check-out girls (Sharon and Dawn) in a supermarket.
The pair decided to play the game of working-out if a male customer was married or not by the evaluation
of his purchases.

A young chap approached the checkout and began to unload his basket, one mushroom, one bottle of milk
and one tomato. Sharon looked up from the line of items and said to the man "You're not married, are you?"
The guy looked surprised and responded "Wow...! how can you tell?"

Sharon replied "Oh it's easy, it's because you're an ugly cunt"

[F2d5thCav]

I'm offended at how you spell "offense" ...  

...

Just about everything thought funny when I was young is taboo in one way or another now.  A terribly sensitive world, unless one leaves the region known as "the West", in which case, the locals laugh at anything they want.

Cheers

[Wallfire]

1/ who was the first person to fly non stop across the Atlantic.
2/ Sami Davis Jr
1/ No it was Alcock and Brown
2/ same thing

[BIAD]

1/ who was the first person to fly non stop across the Atlantic.
2/ Sami Davis Jr
1/ No it was Alcock and Brown
2/ same thing

One for Wallfire and staying in the zone of offending things we take for granted.

What's white and skips across the Irish Sea?
Lord Mountbatten's sand-shoe.


A Muslim lady with a rucksack on her back walks up to her husband and asks
"Does my bomb look big in this?"


Humour, a myth that I once believed in. 

[Wallfire]

[BIAD]

There was a reason for creating this thread and it had nothing to do with insulting ethnic minorities,
it was connected to actually insulting today's concept of insulting minorities.

Take the Bernard Manning video, the tradition of northern-English comedians goes back many years
of having the ability to amuse a diverse range of audiences. That ability is to go on stage to entertain,
not entertain a particular class, race of gender of that audience, that would place the comedian into
the challenger position and isolate areas of that group.

That would be career-suicide for anyone in show business and is basic 101 common sense.
No, the trick is to hit everyone with -hopefully, amusing slants of who we are and how we interact
in the diverse world we live in.

Bernard Manning was an entertainer, he knew his material was to amuse everyone in the room and
by singling-out individuals from many walks of life, create a whole group that would see that difference
was a universal reality that we've overcome to be a unified society.

Now... let's change the accent of Wallfire's 'Dalek' video. Do you think the humour would work if Spike
Milligan had used a posh English accent for the Dalek's voice? No, because of the audience watching it.

If the same footage -with a posh English voice and mannerisms was broadcast in Pakistan and the audience
there found it amusing, would that make them racists...? No again.

The humour would derive from the differences in the two groups and yet they would be bound together
in their mirth. And we're back to what Bernard Manning was doing.

Like I've said many times, this constant divisive outrage isn't about race or even religion , it's about Class.
.......................................


I love the use of the verb 'Experts' in newspapers, a mysterious group of humans who's words are beyond reproach!
In this ridiculous article, these 'Experts' -or sensible folk like you and me, are merely baffled, not amused that an alleged 
place of learning has behaved like a pack of mongos.

It shows how people who swim in the dark pool of identity-politics eventually drink the stuff that surrounds them and
become the racist they abhore. They begin to see men with pillow-cases on their heads, everywhere.

SEE NO EVIL University of York pulls three wise monkeys from their website over ‘racist stereotype’ fears

'The University of York has pulled an image of the three wise monkeys from its website - over fears the creatures are
a "racist stereotype". Woke academics issued a grovelling apology over the use of the image, vowing to "be accountable
for our actions".


Some wooden effigy and a more stiffer figure of silliness, York University.

But experts have been left baffled by the decision - and say they have "no idea" why the picture was deemed controversial.
The image of the monkeys - known worldwide for centuries to mean seeing, hearing and speaking no evil - was pulled ahead
of an art history conference, The Times reports.

Organisers say the poster promotes a "longstanding visual history of oppression and exploits racist stereotypes".
In a statement, they said: "We bring this to your attention, so that we may be held accountable for our actions and, in our privileges,
do and be better.”

The image, associated with Buddhism, first became popular in Japan in the 17th century before spreading to the west and,
traditionally, the creatures are seen as helpers for divine figures. Tim Clark, who retired as curator of the British Museum’s
Japanese collections in 2019, told the paper he had “no idea” why the monkeys would have been an issue.

Meanwhile, Lord Moore of Etchingham, former editor of The Daily Telegraph, slammed the decision in his column for the Spectator
magazine. He said: "One of the difficulties about being woke is that you develop a sort of hypersensitivity to particular phrases and
images, which ultimately makes it almost impossible to say or do anything because you are concerned that someone may take
offence." He said organisers have "inflicted upon themselves a show trial in which they do a stammering confession".

Meanwhile, Dr Lucia Dolce, who has been studying Japanese Buddhism at the School of Oriental and African Studies for 20 years,
told the paper the monkeys are seen in a positive way in Japanese culture. Asked if the image could be controversial, she said:
“That would be wrong because the monkey is a sacred being."

A spokeswoman for the University of York said that the organisers of the online conference - Sensorial Fixations: Orality, Aurality,
Opticality and Hapticity - were worried about accidentally insulting people.

“The Japanese symbol of the three wise monkeys was used to represent a postgraduate conference about the sensory experiences
of the body," she said. "It also appeared on a document that asked for submission of research papers to the conference on a range
of areas, one of which included papers that represented black, indigenous and people of colour.

“It was considered that a monkey, which has been used in a derogatory way in the past, could cause offence in this context, despite
this not being the intention of the organisers, so the image was removed.”

In 2007, four members of union Unison used the image to hit out at leaders who they claimed were ignoring their criticisms.
But the leaders said the image was intended as a racial slur against one of them, who was black.
In 2013, an employment tribunal awarded the members £49,000 after ruling no reasonable person could interpret the use
of the image as a racist slur...'

The Sun:

[Wallfire]

This thread gives me an opening to something I have been trying to find a way of writing about.
If a person is deeply attracted to or deeply fascinated by something that they cannot accept it starts a
hate process.

The person is filled with hate and pain and sees no way of escaping from this inner agonies.
They cannot openly talk or express the feelings so they blame the innocent subject for the pain ( this is the
very short version ).

Now the only way a person could find the three monkeys as offence is that the person sees them as three
niggers, feels bad they see it as this and wants it taken away from there sight, also by removing the
monkeys/niggers they are making themselves feel better by thinking " im such a good person I have
removed this thing from the people and I make the world a better place".

The more woke a person is the more they are hiding a deep sickness that is driving them mad, the more
they want to blame other people for the sickness that is filling them.

The want/needs of woke can never be achieved no matter what they do because the driving pain/shame
is deep inside the woke person, they can never face up to this so they can never get the help they need
so they will just keep on going.

What thoughts, what fantasies were/are in the minds of a person who thinks the words of "baa baa black
sheep" need to be changed. In olden days black sheep were often more valued than white sheep.

Please under stand this is a very short version of a massively complicated problem, and I have use words
that are not nice but needed to show what people see.

[BIAD]

This thread gives me an opening to something I have been trying to find a way of writing about.
If a person is deeply attracted to or deeply fascinated by something that they cannot accept it starts a
hate process.

The person is filled with hate and pain and sees no way of escaping from this inner agonies.
They cannot openly talk or express the feelings so they blame the innocent subject for the pain ( this is
the very short version )...

I've been thinking for some time on how to approach this topic and conjured with a soft approach
or the way of purveyance that I grew-up in, something called 'life'. As you can see, I went with the latter.

I only hope others will step forward to show that identity-politics, false chivalry and fake virtue, are masks
of those who accuse others of an ailment they buried deep in their own psyche.

[Ninurta]

I'll tell you the tale of me and Islam. I think it would be fair to say that I hate Islam, but I don't hate Muslims.

When I was younger, late teens I suppose, I converted to Islam. Spent a few years in it, until I realized just how illogical it was, then I left. Gradually, I also became aware of just how dangerous it is to individual freedom and, well, life on Earth as we know it.

Flash forward several years, and while I was on one of my many tirades extolling the evils of Islam, engaging with Muslims and fellow travelers of Muslims on the utter bat-shit craziness of it, I garnered the focused attention of a Muslim, who began to engage me via private messaging.

I eventually married her. It was the only logical thing to do.

As part of the marriage contract (yeah, Islam still has 'em) I had to agree to not interfere with her worship in any way, which wasn't a problem for me. I'm all about individual freedom, and the freedom of worship is one of the more basic of those. So I agreed, and the deed was done.

In keeping my end of the contract, I never, EVER discussed religion with her, as I did not want to influence her or "interfere" with her mode of worship. So, I never even mentioned religion at all. Then a funny thing happened. She saw something in MY life that she wanted for herself, and so she started asking me religious questions, which of course as a dutiful husband I absolutely refused to answer, so as to keep interference to a minimum, and fulfill my end of the deal. As time progressed, my obstinate refusal to answer such questions got a bit.... dicey.

So, after a while and no small amount of pressure, I began to answer those questions, but kept the answers confined to only the particular question at hand, without further elaboration. A year or two later, Grace left Islam too, in favor of Christianity. it wasn't MY fault - honest! I can't control what other folks see in my world and may want a part of!

SO - I still hate Islam. Have for years. Grace does too now, and has convinced herself that Allah is actually some sort of demon masquerading as God. Christians know which one - only one is known by them as "The Great Deceiver" with a desire to replace The God. Oddly, I can't for the life of me see that hatred for Islam, in either case, as any form of jealousy. Islam is not something we pine away for, it's something we want no part of. We are not attracted to it, nor are we fascinated by it. We've both already been there, done that, checked it off and have the t-shirt... or, perhaps more accurately, the prayer rug. It holds no draw for us.

We hate Islam, but we don't hate Muslims. On the contrary, we tend to see them as deluded, and enslaved by their delusion, but it is THEIR delusion to entertain, not our business how they worship. It's THEIR choice, and only they can break their own chains, so we would prefer to just live and let live.

But we still hate Islam.

.

[kdog]

This thread gives me an opening to something I have been trying to find a way of writing about.
If a person is deeply attracted to or deeply fascinated by something that they cannot accept it starts a
hate process.

The person is filled with hate and pain and sees no way of escaping from this inner agonies.
They cannot openly talk or express the feelings so they blame the innocent subject for the pain ( this is
the very short version )...

I've been thinking for some time on how to approach this topic and conjured with a soft approach
or the way of purveyance that I grew-up in, something called 'life'. As you can see, I went with the latter.

I only hope others will step forward to show that identity-politics, false chivalry and fake virtue, are masks
of those who accuse others of an ailment they buried deep in their own psyche.

I have worked around elevator guys and construction guys my whole life. Nothing offends me.

[Wallfire]

I see that this thread has caused some stress, so I carried out a review of the people who read the thread. Here are the result's including all who read the thread

50% of the people had an hypoxia attack from culture shock, the other 
50% of the  people had hyperventilated from culture shock, wile the other
50% of the people did not suffer at all.


I would like to thank the wonderful mathematician Diane Abbott for her help with the maths  of counting percentages

[PLOTUS]

1/ who was the first person to fly non stop across the Atlantic.
2/ Sami Davis Jr
1/ No it was Alcock and Brown
2/ same thing

Puuuuuhhhaa ha haa haa ha.

[BIAD]

Dave Allen, an well-known seventies Irish comedian of yore, who with one of his jokes (Garden of Eden),
actually prophesises 2020-21!

[gordi]

A Muslim terrorists' wife is trying on a new rucksack (backpack)...
... So, she turns to her friend and asks:

"Does my bomb look big in this?"

... I know... I know...

[BIAD]

A Muslim terrorists' wife is trying on a new rucksack (backpack)...
... So, she turns to her friend and asks:

"Does my bomb look big in this?"

... I know... I know...

From a time when we could laugh at each other and ourselves, something else that's been separated these days.


However, here at Rogue Nation we appreciate humour and togetherness. This means -as Billy Connolly explains,
it's best to learn the strata... the levels we need to know to be a society!

[Mystic Wanderer]

Thought I'd add to this thread with some old cartoons from my time.  You can't find most of these anywhere now.

Thanks to @SomeBitchIKnow on GAB for sharing this archive of vintage cartoons. 

VINTAGE CARTOONS

[727Sky]

Not a joke

ISLAM


Islam is not a religion, nor is it a cult. In its fullest form, it is a complete, total, 100% system of life.

Islam has religious, legal, political, economic, social, and military components. The religious component is a beard for all of the other components.

Islamization begins when there are sufficient Muslims in a country to agitate for their.

religious privileges.

When politically correct, tolerant, and culturally diverse societies agree to Muslim demands.
...
for their religious privileges, some of the other components tend to creep in as well.

Here's how it works.

As long as the Muslim population remains around or under 2% in any given country, they.

will be for the most part be regarded as a peace-loving minority, and not as a threat to other citizens. This is the case in:

United States -- Muslim 0.6%.
Australia -- Muslim 1.5%.
Canada -- Muslim 1.9%.
China -- Muslim 1.8%.
Italy -- Muslim 1.5%.
Norway -- Muslim 1.8%.

At 2% to 5%, they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups, often with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs. This is happening in:

Denmark -- Muslim 2%.
Germany -- Muslim 3.7%.
United Kingdom -- Muslim 2.7%.
Spain -- Muslim 4%.
Thailand -- Muslim 4.6%.

From 5% on, they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. For example, they will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature halal on their shelves -- along with threats for.

failure to comply. This is occurring in:

France -- Muslim 8%.
Philippines -- Muslim 5%.
Sweden -- Muslim 5%.
Switzerland -- Muslim 4.3%.
The Netherlands -- Muslim 5.5%.
Trinidad & Tobago -- Muslim 5.8%.

At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves (within their ghettos) under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islamists is to establish Sharia law over the entire world.

When Muslims approach 10% of the population, they tend to increase lawlessness as a.

means of complaint about their conditions. In Paris, we are already seeing car-burnings.

Any non-Muslim action offends Islam, and results in uprisings and threats, such as in Amsterdam, with opposition to Mohammed cartoons and films about Islam. Such tensions

are seen daily, particularly in Muslim sections, in:

Guyana -- Muslim 10%.
India -- Muslim 13.4%.
Israel -- Muslim 16%.
Kenya -- Muslim 10%.
Russia -- Muslim 15%.

After reaching 20%, nations can expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations,

sporadic killings, and the burnings of Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, such as in:

Ethiopia -- Muslim 32.8%.

At 40%, nations experience widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks, and ongoing.

militia warfare, such as in:

Bosnia -- Muslim 40%.
Chad -- Muslim 53.1%.
Lebanon -- Muslim 59.7%.

From 60%, nations experience unfettered persecution of non-believers of all other religions (including non-conforming Muslims), sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon, and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels, such as in:

Albania -- Muslim 70%.
Malaysia -- Muslim 60.4%.
Qatar -- Muslim 77.5%.
Sudan -- Muslim 70%.

After 80%, expect daily intimidation and violent jihad, some State-run ethnic cleansing, and even some genocide, as these nations drive out the infidels, and move toward 100% Muslim, such as has been experienced and in some ways is on-going in:

Bangladesh -- Muslim 83%.
Egypt -- Muslim 90%.
Gaza -- Muslim 98.7%.
Indonesia -- Muslim 86.1%.
Iran -- Muslim 98%.
Iraq -- Muslim 97%.
Jordan -- Muslim 92%.
Morocco -- Muslim 98.7%.
Pakistan -- Muslim 97%.
Palestine -- Muslim 99%.
Syria -- Muslim 90%.
Tajikistan -- Muslim 90%.
Turkey -- Muslim 99.8%.
United Arab Emirates -- Muslim 96%.

100% will usher in the peace of 'Dar-es-Salaam' -- the Islamic House of Peace. Here there's supposed to be peace, because everybody is a Muslim, the Madrasses are the only schools,

and the Koran is the only word, such as in:

Afghanistan -- Muslim 100%.
Saudi Arabia -- Muslim 100%.
Somalia -- Muslim 100%.
Yemen -- Muslim 100%.

Unfortunately, peace is never achieved, as in these 100% states the most radical Muslims intimidate and spew hatred, and satisfy their blood lust by killing less radical Muslims, for.

a variety of reasons.

'Before I was nine I had learned the basic canon of Arab life. It was me against my brother;.

me and my brother against our father; my family against my cousins and the clan; the clan against the tribe; the tribe against the world, and all of us against the infidel. -- Leon Uris,

'The Haj'

It is important to understand that in some countries, with well under 100% Muslim populations, such as France, the minority Muslim populations live in ghettos, within which.

they are 100% Muslim, and within which they live by Sharia Law. The national police do not even enter these ghettos. There are no national courts, nor schools, nor non-Muslim religious facilities. In such situations, Muslims do not integrate into the community at large. The children attend madrasses. They learn only the Koran. To even associate with an infidel is a crime punishable with death. Therefore, in some areas of certain nations, Muslim Imams and extremists exercise more power than the national average would indicate.

Today's 1.5 billion Muslims make up 22% of the world's population. But their birth rates dwarf the birth rates of Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, and all other believers. Muslims will exceed 50% of the world's population by the end of this century.

Credit to Chester Harmony.

[727Sky]

[727Sky]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/8gxdjH3QjNU

Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?"

I replied: "He can smell she is ready . That's how nature works."
 
We then walked past some sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.
 
Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram know when the ewe is ready for sex?"
 
I replied: "It's nature. He can smell she is ready."
 
We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating with the cow.
 
My girlfriend said: "This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can't smell when she is ready?"
 
I said: "Oh, yes; it's nature . All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex."
 
Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye.
 
She said: "Take care and get yourself checked out for Covid-19."
 
Surprised, "Why do you say that?" I asked her.
 
She replied: "You seem to have lost your sense of smell."

[BIAD]

I stumbled across these videos on YouTube and immediately thought of Wallfire!

Granted, they're a little dated and the humour is very English, but what I really
found odd was that after listening to a couple of the BBC news 'dub-overs' and
called it a day and went to my other computer to attempt some banner-making.

T