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Ordering a Pizza in 2021
#1
Quote:Ordering a Pizza in 2021


CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.


CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.


GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.


CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.


GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?


CALLER: My usual? You know me?


GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.


CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.


GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?


CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!


GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.


CALLER: How the hell do you know that?


GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.


CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.


GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at CVS Pharmacy, 4 months ago.


CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.


GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.


CALLER: I paid in cash.


GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.


CALLER: I have other sources of cash.


GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!


CALLER: WHAT THE HELL!


GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.


CALLER: Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.


GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...



Welcome to the future!!!
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.

Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’


#2
If we have a financial thread that offers future advice and warnings, Ninurta's 'pizza' joke should be moved to it!!
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
#3
(01-20-2021, 10:44 PM)Ninurta Wrote:
Quote:Ordering a Pizza in 2021


CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.


CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.


GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.


CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.


GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?


CALLER: My usual? You know me?


GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.


CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.


GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?


CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!


GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.


CALLER: How the hell do you know that?


GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.


CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.


GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at CVS Pharmacy, 4 months ago.


CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.


GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.


CALLER: I paid in cash.


GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.


CALLER: I have other sources of cash.


GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!


CALLER: WHAT THE HELL!


GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.


CALLER: Enough already!  I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others.  I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.


GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...



Welcome to the future!!!

YUP! Welcome to China!
Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
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#4
@"Ninurta"  tinybiggrin Haha! (Or should i be scared, not sure anymore...)

Also, remember:

[Image: cb0c6df014af7ef68186e85d87ea2eac.jpg]
"Man is fully responsible for his nature and his choices."

-Jean-Paul Sartre


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