A Retired Person's Perspective

[727Sky]

Some of these are worth a read:

Retired Person's Perspective

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.

4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

5. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

6. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim . I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

9. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

Old age is not as bad as I thought. It's a good feeling when you just don't give a hoot anymore and you feel happy just to wake up in the morning.     

[guohua]

Damn, I can't argue with any of those!!!! 

[Night Star]

Ahahaha! That was great!

[BIAD]

Have you ever thought of purchasing an island, 727Sky...?
You'd be great at making the laws!!

Another fantastic Joke from the 'Skyster' -keep 'em coming!

[guohua]

Have you ever thought of purchasing an island, 727Sky...?
You'd be great at making the laws!!

Another fantastic Joke from the 'Skyster' -keep 'em coming!

I can see it Now,,, King Sky,,, All Bow To The Mighty 727!

[727Sky]

 



guohua

Have you ever thought of purchasing an island, 727Sky...?
You'd be great at making the laws!!

Another fantastic Joke from the 'Skyster' -keep 'em coming!

I can see it Now,,, King Sky,,, All Bow To The Mighty 727!



If I did manage to purchase an Island my wife would end up running everything; which she is very good at but otherwise I am not an Island kind of guy..  I did have a great story about a guy ship wrecked on an Island but I can not find it now... If I come across it I will come back and post !

I found it :

[727Sky]

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a 
Vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded
To have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. 

He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, 
Nothing, only bananas and coconuts. 

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the 
Most gorgeous woman he has ever seen shows up to the shore. 

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get 
Here?" 

She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed 
Here when my cruise ship sank." 

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash 
Up with you." 

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw 
Material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree 
Branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern 
Came from a Eucalyptus tree." 

"But, where did you get the tools?" 

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of 
The island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found 
If I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into 
Ductile iron..I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.." 

The guy is stunned. 

"Let's row over to my place," she says. 

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. 

As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is 
A stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and 
White.. 

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp 
Rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.. As they walk into the 
House, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, 
Please. 

Would you like a drink?" 

"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take 
Another drop of coconut juice." 

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How 
Would you like a Pina Colada?" 

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they 
Sit down on her couch to talk. 

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm 
Going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a 
Shower and shave?Th ere is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." 

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. 
There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two 
Shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside 
A swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" 

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, 
Strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She 
Beckons for him to sit down next to her. 

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 
"We've been out here for many months You've been lonely. There's 
Something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something 
You've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes. 
He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows 
Excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes. 

"Don't tell me you've built a Golf Course"

[guohua]

YUP, That's YOU Sky!

[727Sky]

 

This picture was posted on a website with this accompanying question; 
"If you were in a public place, would you feel comfortable with him sitting ten (10) feet away from your children?"
  

 
This is the thoughtful response from one of the readers;
 
"I would gently explain to my children that while it's his absolute right to do it, I don't approve.  
Then I would let them know, in no uncertain terms, that if I ever catch THEM wearing brown slacks, blue socks and black shoes, IN PUBLIC, I'll slap the stupid out of em."   
 
Texas Mom

[guohua]

Wish I could see the picture!

[727Sky]

Wish I could see the picture!

That is weird for the picture shows up loud and clear for me ??? It is a guy sitting at a restaurant bar and is carrying what looks like a Glock 23 on his hip