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Hell Explained


Quote:The following is an actual question given on a  University of
Arizona chemistry mid-term, and an actual answer turned in by
a student.                

The answer by this student was so profound that the professor
shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :               

Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)
or some variant.    

One student, however, wrote the following:     
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell
and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today.    

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these  religions, and since people
do not belong to more than one religion,  we can project that all souls
go to Hell. With birth and death rates  as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in  Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand  proportionately
as souls are added.    
This gives two possibilities:     
1.  If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.      
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number two must be true, and thus, I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over.    

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is,therefore, extinct...leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
'Oh my God.'                 
The young man deserves the A+, it rips the piss on so many levels!
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Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
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