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Subject: Too stupid to be a criminal?!
#1
OK I give up on trying to copy and post the colors always seem to go wonky for reading.. 

Subject: Too stupid to be a criminal?!
 
 
San Francisco: It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of
America, walked into the branch and wrote, "This iz a stikkup.  Put all your muny  In this bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window.  So he left the Bank of  America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.  After waiting a few minutes in line,
He handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbour ,told him that she could not accept his stick up note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
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Quote:Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left.  The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
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Seattle:  When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.  A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

 
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A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it.  The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car.  They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

 
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45-year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
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Quote:According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that
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Quote:the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
 
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David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I., after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money.  It turned out they contained  $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

 
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Drug possession defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in
Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.  The prosecutor Said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.  Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court.  He handed it over so the judge could see it.  The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five- minute recess to compose himself.

 
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Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso from Mexico.  They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana.  They were clever, but not bright.  They misspelled the name of the gas company on the side of the truck.

 
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Oklahoma City:  Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a
convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer.
Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber.
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Quote:Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said,

"I should of blown your @#$% head off."  The defendant paused, then quickly added, " -if I'd been the one that was there."
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Quote:The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30 year sentence.

 
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R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighbourhood.  When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification.  Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

 
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Tennessee:  A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank's video camera, while the camera was remotely recording. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank,)so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera....

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Louisiana:  A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for  change.  When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.  The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
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Quote:The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?

Fifteen dollars. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?]

 
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Arkansas:  Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.  Seems the liquor store window was made of

Plexi-Glass.  The whole event was caught on videotape.
 

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New York:  As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.  Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher.  They put him in the car and drove back to the store.  The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.
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Quote:To which he replied, "Yes, Officer..that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

 
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Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash.
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Quote:The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash

register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.
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Quote:The man, frustrated, walked away.

 
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Kentucky:  Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck.  Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine.  With their bumper still attached to the chain.
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Quote:With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
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