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Saturday, Discotheque, Boy In A Dress and his strange friends.
It's the usual facts for a quite unusual ritual.

Watching them shamble, roll and cavort off to their merriment, I'm deliberating
on a subject I haven't thought of before.
Where does BIAD's companions live...? I've never spied any of them around the
neighbourhood during the week and they never visit except for a Saturday.

Maybe there's a large Hessian sack dangling from a tree in one the copses near
the river... yeah, that's it, a cloth-container where they sleep until the weekend.
Hmmm... it would appropriate.
tinywondering

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You just know when a hint is as subtle as a Blacksmith's anvil on your foot when
Boy In A Dress apologises for being a little-late for his Sunday morning coffee due
to being too engrossed in his newly-found 'Best Sheds' catalogue.

The occasional throwaway comments like "...for any structure to stand, you need
a good foundation" or "...just like a pitched-roof, problems can be off-loaded easier"
became so obvious over his hot brew that I ventured straight out and asked him if
he had any shed design for his new home in mind.

But that's the thing with BIAD, he's absolutely useless at deceit and is easily tripped
when the truth comes a-calling.

All I got back was: "Er... I've got a book I've been meaning to read" and then he
returned to scrutinising the garden.
In silence.
tinywondering

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Me and My Peoples,,,,, minusculebeercheers smallroflmao
Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
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(01-13-2020, 03:12 AM)guohua Wrote: Me and My Peoples,,,,, minusculebeercheers smallroflmao

I only included the ones not committed to an asylum... yet!!
tinywhat

...................................

It been very windy today and I was surprised Boy In A Dress didn't venture out.
Instead, he buried himself in a book about paganism and I guess Mystic's influence on the
weird-being is having an effect!

But don't ask, I didn't.
tinywondering

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Talk about a slow news day...! The trash that the mainstream media toss out as
informative information is absolutely pathetic!

But with the grey miserable weather added into the mix, Boy In A Dress and I only
met for a few minutes to exchange pleasantries, artwork and some embarrassing
advice regarding tucking something that had accidentally popped out.
(For those more-curious, it was the left one.)
tinyhuh
Let's hope things improve!

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I had thought the days of the degenerate old man and his salad-fingered companion from
across the road were behind Boy In A Dress when he visits the mother-in-law's home, but it
seems time holds a strange sense of humour.

BIAD told me that he had only noticed Saucy Stan and Fred at the window when he'd finished
cleaning the mother-in-law's vacuum-cleaner. After asking the Man-Girl where he was positioned
during the task, the confused hermaphrodite supplemented that he'd been bending down very
close to the same window.

"Well, they'll have seen everything" I told him and his smile widened at that point.
"I do hope so, they may be able to tell me where one of the attachments went... I must've
mislaid it" he answered.

Oh, I'm sure they'll come-up with certain suggestions.
tinysure

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The wind and rain kept Boy In A Dress from venturing out too-far from his shed
today, although he was kind enough to drag my Rubbish-bin in after the Trash
guys had been.
I know that because I heard the wolf-whistles.
tinywondering

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To get Boy In A Dress out from under his grey-day Friday funk, my wife -against her
better judgement, agreed to take the Man-Girl shopping for our weekly groceries.

From what I gathered later, he was a help with pushing the trolley and having his hair
reach up for products on the higher shelves. However, with any of BIAD's exploits,
something weird always happens.
Always.

It was the Fruit & Veg sign hanging from the ceiling tiles. There it dangled as one of
it moorings -which I think are magnets, had come loose and the slanted notice gave
the whole scene of organic produce a look of disregard. He of the red dress could not
handle such disarray.

And so I imagined the jam-jar spectacled old woman shuffling in from the sliding doors,
doors that I honestly believe should make the same noises as the ones on Star Trek and
at the same moment, Boy In A Dress decided to rectify the banner problem.

Chattering to her friend, the half-blind lady made her way to where her favourite potatoes
and neatly-packed apples waited for her money. BIAD breathed in deeply and placed a
high-heeled foot on the edge of the waist-high ledge.

Possibly recalling that she had family visiting tomorrow, the bonnet-wearing female adjusted
her glasses and pondered if she should go all-out and get some Brussels sprouts too.
At that exact moment, BIAD reached to replace the loop of the sign's anchorage at the same
time the coke-bottle lenses allowed some-sort of blurred vision to hit the old bag's optic nerve.

Stretching up in his short attire, the hermaphrodite dropped the eyelet over the hook and the
gaudy-coloured banderole was once again, level.

"Oh look..." the beclouded woman barked at her companion "...they're selling those odd-shaped
parsnips!" and a moment later, BIAD cried out in pain.
........................
Never again I scolded him, you just push the trolley or you don't go anymore.
Soothing the claw-marks in a bowl of cold water I'd provided, he winced and nodded in accord.
tinysure

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You tell the best/funniest BIAD stories.   tinylaughing  

Oh, and your banners are always awesome too.   minusculethumbsup
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(01-17-2020, 07:29 PM)Mystic Wanderer Wrote: You tell the best/funniest BIAD stories.   tinylaughing  

Oh, and your banners are always awesome too.   minusculethumbsup

Thank you and there was a slightly-more of a spring in Boy In A Dress' step when
he left for his Discotheque writhing this Saturday evening!

Here's his stuff.

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Two mugs, two mugs of coffee and a quiet Sunday morning.


Boy In A Dress chatted about some of the news he'd heard on his transistor radio and I
did my best to show some interest, but I think he knew I was faking it.

"I see they're starting to realise what possibilities quantum entanglement may have, huh?"
he said and adjusted one of his dress-straps. I frowned to show I wasn't sure what he was
on about.

"Oh yeah..." the enigmatic Man-Girl added in a stronger tone, "...your scientists are not far
from learning why humans were advised to leave the light on at night."

Even though BIAD has no eyes -as far as I know, behind that fringe, I felt that he was
observing me intently. A moment later, "Yer' know, this decade is going to be fun" he softly
whispered from behind his brew.

I waited for some possible details, but he just stood there, like some infiltrator who knew
what horrors were skulking in the shadows ahead.

So tonight, I'm leaving the light on.
tinyshocked

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(01-19-2020, 07:40 PM)BIAD Wrote: Two mugs, two mugs of coffee and a quiet Sunday morning.


Boy In A Dress chatted about some of the news he'd heard on his transistor radio and I
did my best to show some interest, but I think he knew I was faking it.

"I see they're starting to realise what possibilities quantum entanglement may have, huh?"
he said and adjusted one of his dress-straps. I frowned to show I wasn't sure what he was
on about.

"Oh yeah..." the enigmatic Man-Girl added in a stronger tone, "...your scientists are not far
from learning why humans were advised to leave the light on at night."

Even though BIAD has no eyes -as far as I know, behind that fringe, I felt that he was
observing me intently. A moment later, "Yer' know, this decade is going to be fun" he softly
whispered from behind his brew.

I waited for some possible details, but he just stood there, like some infiltrator who knew
what horrors were skulking in the shadows ahead.

So tonight, I'm leaving the light on.
tinyshocked

I ALWAYS leave a light on at night... unless I'M the one who's going to be doing the prowling, in which case I find that a pellet rifle is the very thing for quietly disposing of any errant bulbs that might unexpectedly pop back on...

Just a word to the wise!

.
" I don't mind killin' a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight... or if there's money involved... or a woman... "

 - Jayne Cobb, Hero of Canton
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(01-19-2020, 10:56 PM)Ninurta Wrote: I ALWAYS leave a light on at night... unless I'M the one who's going to be doing the prowling, in which case
I find that a pellet rifle is the very thing for quietly disposing of any errant bulbs that might unexpectedly pop back on...

Just a word to the wise!

I've just related this BIAD as he was preparing to settle down for the night in his shed and
I quote: "Tomorrow, we make a catapult" and then nodded sagely.

God knows what goes on in you-two's minds when the sun goes down.
tinyhuh
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You know when sometimes your perception of how the world works is bumped
enough for you to question everything?
Well, that happened to me today.

No.1 Son sent a text to my better-half asking if we'd seen an electronic device that
he used to use when he was living here at home. I informed my wife that I believed it
resided in the home of Boy In A Dress.

The shed that BIAD lives in is around five-foot long by about two-feet wide, I know
because I built it as a folly to just decorate the garden. Regardless, the Man-Girl lives
in it and I believe he's content.

So he agreed to look for the equipment and as the bare-legged oddity lugged out
a three-piece twelve-foot ladder from his abode, I felt my grasp on reality slip a little.

"I'll take a look behind the combine harvester later, if that's alright with you?" he gasped,
putting down a stuffed pond-dweller and dam-maker. The best I could do was to remark
"nice beaver" and he nodded at the gag.

It's been a couple of hours since he tapped on the window with my son's device and after
thanking him, I asked BIAD why he doesn't hold his Saturday evening's Discotheque in
his shed.

"No hooks to hang the coats" he said and hobbled off in his high-heels.
tinysure

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(01-20-2020, 08:19 PM)BIAD Wrote: You know when sometimes your perception of how the world works is bumped
enough for you to question everything?
Well, that happened to me today.

No.1 Son sent a text to my better-half asking if we'd seen an electronic device that
he used to use when he was living here at home. I informed my wife that I believed it
resided in the home of Boy In A Dress.

The shed that BIAD lives in is around five-foot long by about two-feet wide, I know
because I built it as a folly to just decorate the garden. Regardless, the Man-Girl lives
in it and I believe he's content.

So he agreed to look for the equipment and as the bare-legged oddity lugged out
a three-piece twelve-foot ladder from his abode, I felt my grasp on reality slip a little.

"I'll take a look behind the combine harvester later, if that's alright with you?" he gasped,
putting down a stuffed pond-dweller and dam-maker. The best I could do was to remark
"nice beaver" and he nodded at the gag.

It's been a couple of hours since he tapped on the window with my son's device and after
thanking him, I asked BIAD why he doesn't hold his Saturday evening's Discotheque in
his shed.

"No hooks to hang the coats" he said and hobbled off in his high-heels.
tinysure

Bananas.


I can donate a box of 16-penny nails if you can trust him to wield a hammer long enough to pound them into the shed wall for "coat hooks"... but if it's a chilly there as it is here (currently 21 deg F; -6 C), then he needs to cover that beaver up!


.
" I don't mind killin' a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight... or if there's money involved... or a woman... "

 - Jayne Cobb, Hero of Canton
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(01-21-2020, 01:04 AM)Ninurta Wrote: I can donate a box of 16-penny nails if you can trust him to wield a hammer long enough to pound them
into the shed wall for "coat hooks"... but if it's a chilly there as it is here (currently 21 deg F; -6 C), then
he needs to cover that beaver up!

BIAD thanks you and he's admitted his prowess with a hammer is below par and that I could assist.


Oddly enough, he did relate to me yesterday that he met a Taxidermist on Saturday evening at his
Discotheque who offered some advice regarding an exposed beaver. BIAD assured him that his hardly
suffers with the frost at this time of the year and that the one thing he does enjoy stroking is kept away
from draughty areas of his home.

The same artist of mummification also hinted that he'd stuff anything of the Man-Girl's free of charge,
so I suppose that's a positive outcome.
tinywondering
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Realising that the skill with a hammer could be a weakness (See above) , Boy In A Dress spent
the morning braying nails into nearly everything made of wood -and almost Mrs. Miggins' hand
when she reached over the fence to see if he wanted a cup of tea.

We didn't speak of the mounted semi-aquatic rodent that BIAD had left on his stoop, But I know
it caught Mrs. Miggins by surprise to be greeted by a grinning beaver looking curious in the rare
winter sun.
Such sights can draw a gasp, I'd say and it seemed to increase when -as the Man-Girl's shed door
was left ajar, I thought I saw a stuffed cockatoo.

Anyway, BIAD's afternoon was taken up getting his artwork done and here it is.
His artwork, not the beaver.
tinybiggrin

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Boy In A Dress told me that due to the mild weather, he believed Saucy Stan and
Salad-Fingers Fred had returned to wandering around the quiet cul-de-sac near
the mother-in-law's house.

BIAD came to that assumption during his chore of clearing a small area that was
outside the main garden, but ran alongside the mum-in-law's rarely-used driveway.

The weeds were scarce due to the large wickedly-pointed-leaved Yucca holding sway
in the space, but the bare-assed hermaphrodite was determined -on his knees and
facing the plant, to dig what there was out and leave the soil tilled.

"You have to watch out for pricks..." the Man-Girl said at the two approaching shadows
and realised this comment might be seen as an insult. "...I mean, who'd want to see me
with red-marks on my boobs, huh?" he added absently.

Both Stan and Fred raised their hands.
tinysure

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Apart from the trash-guys cooing over the fence at the inhabitant of the shed in my
garden, Thursday has been a quiet one.
From the faint clack-sounds I heard this afternoon, I'd guess Boy In A Dress is back at
typing his story and personally, I can't wait.

These were laid on his stoop.

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