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IRS to the rescue: thieves now required to report ill-gotten gains
#1
The IRS is on the ball! They'll get to the bottom of all the looting going on in the US now... just as soon as those criminals go legit and report their thefts to the IRS.

As of Monday, Americans are now required to report the value of property they have stolen, bribes, illegal drug deals, etc on their yearly income taxes.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/202...035694002/

To make sure the word gets out, tweets have issued to inform criminals of their civic duties to report their income from theft and all other forms of graft.

Kickbacks are to be reported on a separate schedule from bribes, which are to be included in income.

Now we KNOW those fine, upstanding, law-abiding criminals are going to report their income to the IRS, don't we?

Yeah, the IRS will get right to the bottom of the crime wave, because they're on top of stuff!

There goes my carefully crafted diabolical plan to recoup my losses from the governments refusal to pay me any of my pandemic relief payments - they'll just tax it right back into their own pockets...

So THIS is how BidenHarris planned to pay for "Build Back Better"! Brilliance at it's finest!

.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.

Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’


#2
Interesting things I learned scanning through IRS Publication 17: (https://www.irs.gov/publications/p17)

1. You can claim a child as a qualifying relative even if the child has been kidnapped. 

2. The IRS does not accept checks greater than $100,000,000. If you owe more than that, you need to break it into multiple, smaller amounts. 

3. You can donate to help pay the public debt. (I wonder what the IRS thinks paying taxes is?)

4. Any wager greater than 300x the amount of the bet is subject to withholdings.

5. If you barter something, it must be included as income. 

6. Canceled debt must be included as income. So... student loan forgiveness. You may be off the hook for the loan but are you still on the hook as income? (It looks like they get picky parsing this one out) 

7. If you have a hobby and incur loses, it is not deductible. However, if you make money on that hobby (let's say sell a rare coin or something) that is capital gains and taxable. 

8. And YES!!! Gains from illegal activities such as selling drugs, must be included on Schedule 1, line 8z or on Schedule C if you are a self-employed drug dealer. Kickbacks and "side-money" go in the same location. Interestingly, rewards must also be included as income. So it looks like the IRS wins either way.
#3
(12-31-2021, 01:20 AM)ABNARTY Wrote: 6. Canceled debt must be included as income. So... student loan forgiveness. You may be off the hook for the loan but are you still on the hook as income? (It looks like they get picky parsing this one out) 

I'd be willing to fight them to the death on that one.

I had a total of 9.000 in student loans. To date, I have paid back 24,000 on that 9,000, and according to the loan people, I still owe another 27,000. It's a debt that can NEVER actually be paid off.

I got 9.000 - THAT was my "income". The other 42,000 is just money for nothing, nothing money, that I never gained. It's less substantial than air, and was certainly never any sort of "gain" to me, so in the event of loan forgiveness, they could kiss my ass on that one. Not gonna happen. They can suck the taxes on that nothing money right out of my ass.

They can call it "nothing taxes on nothing money", and make ALL of it imaginary.

OR they could try to extort it from my estate after I die... if they have a good metal detector, they might find BOTH of the pennies I've buried as my legacy.

.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.

Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’


#4
A fella on TV just made a great point regarding this development - he said "so we are in such bad shape under Biden that the government is now relying on drug dealers and thievesto adhere to the honor system to correct out government financial deficits"...


Great point.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.

Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’


#5
tinylaughing

"While we're at it, we're also requiring all serial killers to report your kills.  Trophies taken during killings will be tax deductible if you've sold one as a rare item."
[Image: Green%20Banner.jpg]
#6
(12-31-2021, 05:41 AM)Ninurta Wrote: A fella on TV just made a great point regarding this development - he said "so we are in such bad shape under Biden that the government is now relying on drug dealers and thievesto adhere to the honor system to correct out government financial deficits"...


Great point.

This approach sounds like the Al Capone days.  "We can't get them on anything else, so we'll use tax evasion."

Except most of the people looting are not Al Capones.  Government has gone plain ignorant.

Cheers
[Image: 14sigsepia.jpg]

Location: The lost world, Elsewhen
#7
(12-31-2021, 05:41 AM)Ninurta Wrote: A fella on TV just made a great point regarding this development - he said "so we are in such bad shape under Biden that the government is now relying on drug dealers and thievesto adhere to the honor system to correct out government financial deficits"...


Great point.




In a perfect world, one with rainbows and unicorns, the criminals not only would report and pay taxes on things they  stole, but they would also follow gun laws, buy them properly from gun sellers.


BUT...... that is the most laughable and impossible scenario ever!! 
There are no unicorns, much less a perfect world. 
Therefore, the criminals will not be paying taxes on stolen goods.  tinysure


Not sure what they are smokin in D.C., but they are making themselves the laughing stock of the year, both old and new.



I am quite honestly embarrassed for whomever came up with criminals "paying taxes on stolen goods".
And who thought that was a good idea to say something that ignorant on record? 



Damn, and we have 3 more loooong years of Biden & his circus
.

a.k.a. 'snarky412'
 
        

#8
(01-02-2022, 05:11 AM)senona Wrote: ...

In a perfect world, one with rainbows and unicorns, the criminals not only would report and pay taxes on things they  stole, but they would also follow gun laws, buy them properly from gun sellers.


BUT...... that is the most laughable and impossible scenario ever!! 
There are no unicorns, much less a perfect world. 

...

I am quite honestly embarrassed for whomever came up with criminals "paying taxes on stolen goods".
And who thought that was a good idea to say something that ignorant on record? 
...
.

Ummm... "...no unicorns..." ?
What happened to them...and...when? ... and ......... prove it
I'm not taking this one lying down.

Paying taxes on stolen goods makes way for...'the estates and assets of anyone convicted of theft in its varied forms and styles...can be taxed'.
And, if they failed to report their thievery, then, the gov' can affix fines and other penalties...up to and including their entire estate/s.  

So, if you were the/a victim of such an action of 'justice', the US Treasury/Federal Government gets first (and, perhaps/probably - only) pickin's out of the goods stolen from you...to satisfy its nefarious & whimsical appetite...


"Good judgment comes from experience...
Experience...? Well, that comes from poor judgment."
~ Dean Martin ~




#9
(01-05-2022, 05:36 PM)Minstrel Wrote:
(01-02-2022, 05:11 AM)senona Wrote: ...

In a perfect world, one with rainbows and unicorns, the criminals not only would report and pay taxes on things they  stole, but they would also follow gun laws, buy them properly from gun sellers.


BUT...... that is the most laughable and impossible scenario ever!! 
There are no unicorns, much less a perfect world. 

...

I am quite honestly embarrassed for whomever came up with criminals "paying taxes on stolen goods".
And who thought that was a good idea to say something that ignorant on record? 
...
.

Ummm... "...no unicorns..." ?
What happened to them...and...when? ... and ......... prove it
I'm not taking this one lying down.

Paying taxes on stolen goods makes way for...'the estates and assets of anyone convicted of theft in its varied forms and styles...can be taxed'.
And, if they failed to report their thievery, then, the gov' can affix fines and other penalties...up to and including their entire estate/s.  

So, if you were the/a victim of such an action of 'justice', the US Treasury/Federal Government gets first (and, perhaps/probably - only) pickin's out of the goods stolen from you...to satisfy its nefarious & whimsical appetite...

That makes it make more sense - the biggest thieves stealing from the lesser organized criminals, under color of law. The big fish swallowing up the smaller fish.

The only real losers are the honest folks the sharks claim to be working for.

.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.

Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’


#10
(12-30-2021, 11:40 PM)Ninurta Wrote: The IRS is on the ball! They'll get to the bottom of all the looting going on in the US now... just as soon as those criminals go legit and report their thefts to the IRS.

As of Monday, Americans are now required to report the value of property they have stolen, bribes, illegal drug deals, etc on their yearly income taxes.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/202...035694002/

To make sure the word gets out, tweets have issued to inform criminals of their civic duties to report their income from theft and all other forms of graft.

Kickbacks are to be reported on a separate schedule from bribes, which are to be included in income.

Now we KNOW those fine, upstanding, law-abiding criminals are going to report their income to the IRS, don't we?

Yeah, the IRS will get right to the bottom of the crime wave, because they're on top of stuff!

There goes my carefully crafted diabolical plan to recoup my losses from the governments refusal to pay me any of my pandemic relief payments - they'll just tax it right back into their own pockets...

So THIS is how BidenHarris planned to pay for "Build Back Better"! Brilliance at it's finest!

.

Wonder if the criminals in the administration will do the same?   minusculebonker
#11
(12-31-2021, 01:20 AM)ABNARTY Wrote: 5. If you barter something, it must be included as income. 

Sure, but how do you assign value to the items bartered? Let's say I traded 20 pounds of rice for an alternator from a Toyota Corolla last summer... Does the IRS now decide what the value of either items are? If so, is that based on last summer's prices or current? Do they have a spreadsheet that includes everything ever created and their respective values? If the value of the rice is technically less than the value of the alternator, does that count as a loss? If so, do I get to claim that as an expense?

So many questions....
In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces. - Zapp Brannigan
#12
(03-27-2022, 01:58 PM)MalevolentTwitch Wrote:
(12-31-2021, 01:20 AM)ABNARTY Wrote: 5. If you barter something, it must be included as income. 

Sure, but how do you assign value to the items bartered?

My opinion? We're talking about the government getting their share of a physical object.  I say send them a big bag of stinking rotten ...

If we all send it in anonymously ... they might get the message.  Maybe the CrowdSourcing folks would be willing to promote this idea ... everyone mailing a bag on the same day.

smallrofl
'Cause if they catch you in the back seat trying to pick her locks
They're gonna send you back to Mother in a cardboard box
You better run!
#13
(03-27-2022, 02:43 PM)Snarl Wrote:
(03-27-2022, 01:58 PM)MalevolentTwitch Wrote:
(12-31-2021, 01:20 AM)ABNARTY Wrote: 5. If you barter something, it must be included as income. 

Sure, but how do you assign value to the items bartered?

My opinion? We're talking about the government getting their share of a physical object.  I say send them a big bag of stinking rotten ...

If we all send it in anonymously ... they might get the message.  Maybe the CrowdSourcing folks would be willing to promote this idea ... everyone mailing a bag on the same day.

smallrofl

Send me a link or a "gofundme"..... I'm down. Hell, if it counts as a donation or other charitable act, I might even claim it on my taxes.
In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces. - Zapp Brannigan
#14
(03-27-2022, 01:58 PM)MalevolentTwitch Wrote:
(12-31-2021, 01:20 AM)ABNARTY Wrote: 5. If you barter something, it must be included as income. 

Sure, but how do you assign value to the items bartered? Let's say I traded 20 pounds of rice for an alternator from a Toyota Corolla last summer... Does the IRS now decide what the value of either items are? If so, is that based on last summer's prices or current? Do they have a spreadsheet that includes everything ever created and their respective values? If the value of the rice is technically less than the value of the alternator, does that count as a loss? If so, do I get to claim that as an expense?

So many questions....

If it was up to me, I am not even bothering. Trade is a trade and it's done. The IRS can go pound sand  tinybiggrin


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