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Rogue-Nation Family
#21
I dont have grand words or empty words, seas, lands and cultures separate us all, I dont know your pain but my soul sings in silent song of the pain it knows in hope your two souls can hear it and understand they are not alone
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#22
My deepest prayers are with those who are in need during these times.
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#23
(12-15-2020, 03:40 PM)Tarzan the apeman. Wrote: My deepest prayers are with those who are in need during these times.

Thank you. I take this with me.

I can't pray for myself or for others, so i cherish your prayer.
"Man is fully responsible for his nature and his choices."

-Jean-Paul Sartre
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#24
ChiefD and senona, I send Prayers and hopes to our Father for change in circumstance that will allow you to be returned to your lives with family. That your earthly voyage will continue many more seasons. 
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#25
(12-15-2020, 01:33 PM)drussell41 Wrote:
(12-15-2020, 12:49 PM)WonderCow Wrote: In a similar position here, have two elderly relatives in care and haven't seen them for almost a year as only one family member is allowed to visit. Luckily they are together in a fantastic place that posts updates to Facebook every day. Sadly they are both visibly deteriorating despite getting excellent care.
 It's frustrating for sure, but I'm still hopeful that this thing will blow over soon.
Stay strong.

Do you think they're deteriorating more than they would have if the lockdown/isolation technique hadn't been used?

No, they're getting excellent care, it's just general deterioration due to old age and related health issues.
I am WonderCow....hear me moo!
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#26
(12-15-2020, 01:33 PM)drussell41 Wrote:
(12-15-2020, 12:49 PM)WonderCow Wrote: In a similar position here, have two elderly relatives in care and haven't seen them for almost a year as only one family member is allowed to visit. Luckily they are together in a fantastic place that posts updates to Facebook every day. Sadly they are both visibly deteriorating despite getting excellent care.
 It's frustrating for sure, but I'm still hopeful that this thing will blow over soon.
Stay strong.



Do you think they're deteriorating more than they would have if the lockdown/isolation technique hadn't been used?



YES, without a doubt.



Before the lockdown, families came and went, bringing food, snacks, drinks etc etc....sit with them for hours talking or just holding hands. Watching TV or walking down the hallway to the lobby. Or maybe take a stroll outside. 

I would take Jim for a ride, get him out of there for a couple of hours. Run to McDonalds and get a double cheeseburger/fries/fruit punch 
Then go to the park for a walk. Sit on the bench and talk.

There was constant outside stimulation with family and friends coming to visit.



We also help the aids when we are there, knowing that we are watching our loved ones and will come get them if we need anything. So the aids are free to help others that need it.




Now ---- the residents are confined to their hallway or bedrooms. No more gathering in the dinning room to eat at a dinner table like normal people. They have the bed trays that they use in their bedrooms.

No more bingo games or music gatherings.

No more visits from families and for some residents in the nursing homes, they cannot comprehend "why" their family members stopped coming to see them. Some now feel abandoned. They simply do not understand shutdown/lockdown/coronavirus

There is video chat but that is not the same. 



No more snacks or foods that we know our loved ones will eat. Some like my husband, has lost quite a bit of weight in the last 6 months. When I used to sit with him at lunch, I made sure he ate it all. Or would cut his food into small pieces so he could chew it better. 

The aids do their best, but they simply do not know all the quirky things that our loved ones like or don't like. Or they may not have the time since family members are no longer there to help. 



Oh yeah, the shutdown has hurt the residents in nursing homes. Worst thing they could have done is cut off ALL visitation from family. 
Not to mention hurt us, the families.


They could have limited it to 1 family member for maybe 2 hours and make an appointment so families did not overlap. Let us bring food, books or what have you.

But we got nothing, other than video chat and that for me, sucks. Jim has issues talking and gets fidgety, so I can never understand him when and if he decides to talk. 
Unlike sitting next to him on the couch, where I can lean over, put my head on his shoulder and better hear what he is trying to say. 



Basically, it is the stimulation from family, that help keep them going, even on bad days.




Fingers crossed it won't be too much longer before they open the doors.

a.k.a. 'snarky412'
 
        

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#27
(12-15-2020, 04:15 AM)beez Wrote: My thoughts, prayers, best wishes are for everyone who has suffered this year.

May God, the gods, whomever, see to those who are suffering.




Sadly, there are millions who have/are suffering this year.


Sending prayers as well  (((from which ever Deity one believes in --- or good vibes to those who don't)))  to everyone that has suffered. 


Let's hope that next year will bring an end to this chaos.

a.k.a. 'snarky412'
 
        

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#28
That is really grim.

My husband and I wonder how many people hospitals are killing without relatives there to check up on them.  It was bad before; it has to be worse now.
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#29
(12-17-2020, 08:50 AM)drussell41 Wrote: That is really grim.

My husband and I wonder how many people hospitals are killing without relatives there to check up on them.  It was bad before; it has to be worse now.

The nation is being sapped of its humanity.

I am so sorry ...
'Cause if they catch you in the back seat trying to pick her locks
They're gonna send you back to Mother in a cardboard box
You better run!
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#30
(12-17-2020, 12:35 PM)Snarl Wrote:
(12-17-2020, 08:50 AM)drussell41 Wrote: That is really grim.

My husband and I wonder how many people hospitals are killing without relatives there to check up on them.  It was bad before; it has to be worse now.

The nation is being sapped of its humanity.

I am so sorry ...

I think so too.
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#31
(12-17-2020, 02:29 AM)senona Wrote:
(12-15-2020, 01:33 PM)drussell41 Wrote:
(12-15-2020, 12:49 PM)WonderCow Wrote: In a similar position here, have two elderly relatives in care and haven't seen them for almost a year as only one family member is allowed to visit. Luckily they are together in a fantastic place that posts updates to Facebook every day. Sadly they are both visibly deteriorating despite getting excellent care.
 It's frustrating for sure, but I'm still hopeful that this thing will blow over soon.
Stay strong.



Do you think they're deteriorating more than they would have if the lockdown/isolation technique hadn't been used?



YES, without a doubt.



Before the lockdown, families came and went, bringing food, snacks, drinks etc etc....sit with them for hours talking or just holding hands. Watching TV or walking down the hallway to the lobby. Or maybe take a stroll outside. 

I would take Jim for a ride, get him out of there for a couple of hours. Run to McDonalds and get a double cheeseburger/fries/fruit punch 
Then go to the park for a walk. Sit on the bench and talk.

There was constant outside stimulation with family and friends coming to visit.



We also help the aids when we are there, knowing that we are watching our loved ones and will come get them if we need anything. So the aids are free to help others that need it.




Now ---- the residents are confined to their hallway or bedrooms. No more gathering in the dinning room to eat at a dinner table like normal people. They have the bed trays that they use in their bedrooms.

No more bingo games or music gatherings.

No more visits from families and for some residents in the nursing homes, they cannot comprehend "why" their family members stopped coming to see them. Some now feel abandoned. They simply do not understand shutdown/lockdown/coronavirus

There is video chat but that is not the same. 



No more snacks or foods that we know our loved ones will eat. Some like my husband, has lost quite a bit of weight in the last 6 months. When I used to sit with him at lunch, I made sure he ate it all. Or would cut his food into small pieces so he could chew it better. 

The aids do their best, but they simply do not know all the quirky things that our loved ones like or don't like. Or they may not have the time since family members are no longer there to help. 



Oh yeah, the shutdown has hurt the residents in nursing homes. Worst thing they could have done is cut off ALL visitation from family. 
Not to mention hurt us, the families.


They could have limited it to 1 family member for maybe 2 hours and make an appointment so families did not overlap. Let us bring food, books or what have you.

But we got nothing, other than video chat and that for me, sucks. Jim has issues talking and gets fidgety, so I can never understand him when and if he decides to talk. 
Unlike sitting next to him on the couch, where I can lean over, put my head on his shoulder and better hear what he is trying to say. 



Basically, it is the stimulation from family, that help keep them going, even on bad days.




Fingers crossed it won't be too much longer before they open the doors.
The other thing I wanted to say, but didn't..other was a middle of the night post...was how sorry I am you guys are going through this.
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#32
Thoughts and prayers to ChiefD and Senona.  I think it's wrong that not even one at a time can visit a family member in the hospital.  Not only wrong, I find it disgusting.  They keep telling us masks work, so why not allow one person in to see someone?  Why not have that person wear a mask and sanitize their hands?  I understand people can video chat, but not everyone has that.
[Image: Green%20Banner.jpg]
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#33
I can't imagine the stress they are all under. 

I'll pray for strength and wisdom in a dark time.
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#34
(12-17-2020, 08:50 AM)drussell41 Wrote: That is really grim.

My husband and I wonder how many people hospitals are killing without relatives there to check up on them.  It was bad before; it has to be worse now.



The hospital is to blame for Jim's inability to walk now.


They denied me access due to covid, even tho I am his legal caretaker (besides his wife)


I took them at their word each time I called to check up on Jim -- 'Oh he's fine' ....'Yes, he ate all his food' .... 'He's doing good, just resting'


So when the time came to pick him up --(14 day quarantine before he could go back to the nursing home & I was furloughed at that time)-- to say I was shocked when the nurse called down to the lobby to speak to me, to tell me that Jim was IMM0BILE. That he could not even straighten out his legs. And he was so weak, he was not able to push himself up off the bad.


Oh yeah, I did an ugly cry that day (one of many)


They kept him for a few more days, which allowed me to get mentally prepared and then they brought him home in an ambulance.



The whole 2 weeks I had him, he never gained enough strength to move himself. 
He was able to move his arms and feed himself after 3 days. 

I spent every waking minute massaging his legs/arms and flexing them. But it was not enough.

My sister helped me out, until the paperwork for the home healthcare workers went through.



After the 14 days, they sent an ambulance to come pick Jim up and back to the nursing home he went.

Shortly after that, I ended up going back to work ( I myself had to do 14 quarantine before I could go back to work) 




So yes, sadly without family members there to watch out for them, hospitals are neglecting many patients due to "coronavirus" , using that as an excuse.

Or at least that is what they told me once I started raising hell, questioning the care my husband received --rather the lack of.
And being as I was literally denied access to watch over him being as he cannot speak up for himself, that they were responsible for him being de-conditioned.


They fed me a line of bullshit, but I kept on at them. Nothing ever happened tho and I have since been told that hospitals are being protected since this is an "unprecedented pandemic" 


Pandemic my azz!!









**These were taken a few days before the shutdown.... we went to town, went by McD's and to the park 


[Image: jim2-2o2o.jpg]



[Image: me-jim2-2020.jpg]











Jim when they brought him home from the hospital..... April 29 
The last time he would be able to walk 


[Image: 20200429-132306.jpg]





The nursing home is a very nice one and they do all they can to help him. I really cannot complain. They themselves have their hands tied in this pandemic mess.
And are under new kinds of stress, being dictated by the State Health Dept on the do's and don'ts


But until the new year kicks in for Medicare, Jim cannot get any more skilled physical therapy.

a.k.a. 'snarky412'
 
        

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#35
@ChiefD and @senona sending both warm wishes and prayers. 2020 has been a challenge for sure, but no words can help mend the heartache you must be feeling.    tinycrying
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#36
Hi everyone,

I'm finally back. I'm so sorry I've been gone such a lengthy period of time. I've read every post on this thread, and I'm sobbing. Good crying though. I had no idea I was missed. Your posts are all so loving and touching. 

It's been a rough few months. I just couldn't bear to come on here in my depressed state. It really sucks to have a loved one in a nursing home during this pandemic. @"senona" I read all your posts and cried my eyes out. I also sent you a PM. What you're going through is much worse than what I'm going through. I can't even imagine. Know you're in my prayers and I'm thinking of you. 

The nursing home my husband is at is now allowing compassionate care visits. They knew how upset both I and my husband were with not being able to see each other, and how it was negatively affecting us. So now I get to see him once a week for an hour. I have to sit six feet from him, and I cannot hug and kiss him. But being the little rebel I am, I close the door, and I hug and kiss him. I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks. I've been married to him for 28 years, and pandemic or no, I'll be damned if I'm gonna let something like that stop me from giving my husband affection. 

Before the compassionate care visits, it was all over the board. I'd think I had a visit, and they'd call me a few minutes before and pull the rug out from under me. That really sucked, and pissed me off. I felt really helpless. So the compassionate care visits are better than nothing. Then the nursing home said because of the seemingly perpetual quarantine, he wasn't able to leave the room for weeks at a time, so his being able to walk really went downhill. This upset the hell out of me and I threw a huge fit. They got physical therapy in there to get him walking again. 

I'll fight for everything for him. I'm his only advocate and I will be there come hell and high water. 

I also worried that my liberal politics may offend some on here. But I think we're all adults here. We may vehemently disagree on politics and that, but like @"guohua" says, we are all a family. I love you all like family, and appreciate the love, support and prayers.
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#37
Good to see you back, @"ChiefD".  Super that you have contact with your husband again. tinybiggrin 

Cheers
[Image: 14sigsepia.jpg]

Location: The lost world, Elsewhen
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#38
I'm glad you have some time to spend with your husband, no matter how little and difficult it is when they promise one thing and allow another. 

My grandmother, mothers mom, is in a home and they have done the same. Promise one thing, and then deliver another. Literally holding them hostage week to week based on some random criteria that changes day to day. 

Sorry, While I understand your dilemma, I see everyone saying the same thing at this point. It's nothing more than politics, it's never been any more than that. 

One side championed this and another side fought it, guess who lost? Now it's down to you having someone else TELLING you when you can see your husband. 

I'm not trying to be a dick, though I'm sure I am, but that's what a vast majority of us spoke out against and where shouted down. 

My grandmothers facility is a joke. They've given vaccines to everyone, had only a few "covid" deaths among the largely 90 plus assisted living residents(that obviously likely died from something else). But still, they are locked down, spend all their times in their rooms and can't even leave their room for no reason. 

Sorry, I'm tired of this shit.
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#39
Boy In A Dress and myself are over-the-moon to hear from you again, ChiefD!
Any opinions are welcome, just a bad sense in tie selection will be questioned!

Seriously, your man has a good woman to take care of him.
minusculethumbsup
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
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#40
(02-27-2021, 02:40 AM)ChiefD Wrote: Hi everyone,

I'm finally back. I'm so sorry I've been gone such a lengthy period of time. I've read every post on this thread, and I'm sobbing. Good crying though. I had no idea I was missed. Your posts are all so loving and touching. 

It's been a rough few months. I just couldn't bear to come on here in my depressed state. It really sucks to have a loved one in a nursing home during this pandemic. @"senona" I read all your posts and cried my eyes out. I also sent you a PM. What you're going through is much worse than what I'm going through. I can't even imagine. Know you're in my prayers and I'm thinking of you. 

The nursing home my husband is at is now allowing compassionate care visits. They knew how upset both I and my husband were with not being able to see each other, and how it was negatively affecting us. So now I get to see him once a week for an hour. I have to sit six feet from him, and I cannot hug and kiss him. But being the little rebel I am, I close the door, and I hug and kiss him. I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks. I've been married to him for 28 years, and pandemic or no, I'll be damned if I'm gonna let something like that stop me from giving my husband affection. 

Before the compassionate care visits, it was all over the board. I'd think I had a visit, and they'd call me a few minutes before and pull the rug out from under me. That really sucked, and pissed me off. I felt really helpless. So the compassionate care visits are better than nothing. Then the nursing home said because of the seemingly perpetual quarantine, he wasn't able to leave the room for weeks at a time, so his being able to walk really went downhill. This upset the hell out of me and I threw a huge fit. They got physical therapy in there to get him walking again. 

I'll fight for everything for him. I'm his only advocate and I will be there come hell and high water. 

I also worried that my liberal politics may offend some on here. But I think we're all adults here. We may vehemently disagree on politics and that, but like @"guohua" says, we are all a family. I love you all like family, and appreciate the love, support and prayers.

So good to hear from you!  I've been thinking of you.
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