Quote:How to get to Heaven from Scotland ... 

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my 
car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my 
money to the church, would that get me  
into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed 
the garden and kept everything tidy, would 
that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!'   

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and 
gave sweets to all the children and 
loved my husband, would that get me 
into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'  

I was just bursting with pride for them. 


I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?" 

                                                      
A six year old boy shouted, 


    "Yuv got tae be fukin' dead" 
 
 
Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye...