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+--- Thread: Some One-Liners to Brighten your day! (/thread-4618.html)
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RE: Some One-Liners to Brighten your day! - EndtheMadnessNow - 03-27-2022
My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. We’ll see about that.
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
The future, the present, and the past walk into a Rogue bar. Things got a little tense.
Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.
I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off. Guess I was stoned off my ass.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
Have you heard about the new restaurant called "Karma?" There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.
RE: Some One-Liners to Brighten your day! - gordi - 03-27-2022
(03-27-2022, 07:49 PM)EndtheMadnessNow Wrote: My therapist says........
Yay!
Nice ones.
G
RE: Some One-Liners to Brighten your day! - NightskyeB4Dawn - 03-27-2022
(03-27-2022, 07:49 PM)EndtheMadnessNow Wrote: My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. We’ll see about that.
I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
The future, the present, and the past walk into a Rogue bar. Things got a little tense.
Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.
I was riding a donkey the other day when someone threw a rock at me and I fell off. Guess I was stoned off my ass.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
Have you heard about the new restaurant called "Karma?" There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.
Like them all!
I think we may have the same therapist though.
RE: Some One-Liners to Brighten your day! - EndtheMadnessNow - 04-10-2022
Why Seniors Never Change Their Passwords
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
RE: Some One-Liners to Brighten your day! - guohua - 04-10-2022
(04-10-2022, 04:13 AM)EndtheMadnessNow Wrote: Why Seniors Never Change Their Passwords
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
YUP!
That happens to me all the time.
