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  BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT
Posted by: 727Sky - 08-12-2018, 04:43 AM - Forum: Humor, Jokes & Pranks - Replies (1)

Quote: BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
  FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!


[b]FREE PUPPIES
[/b] 
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.


FREE PUPPIES. 
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. 
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

 
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. 
Also 1 homosexual bull for sale.

 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY
Must sell washer and dryer £100.



[b]WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE ...
[/b] 
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie


[b]FOR SALE BY OWNER.
[/b] 
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.


[b]Statement of the Century
[/b]  
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.  "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Children Are Quick 
[b]______________________________ ______
[/b]
 
TEACHER: Why are you late?
[b]STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

______________________________ ______
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
______________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
______________________________ ______________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
______________________________ ____
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago
WINNIE: Me!
______________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
______________________________ _________
[/b]
______________________________
[b]TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
______________________________ ________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
[/b]
 
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
[b]______________________________ _____

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
______________________________ ____
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH
[/b]  
[i]Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
[/i]

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  World's only woolly mammoth hair hat goes on sale for $10,000
Posted by: Wallfire - 08-11-2018, 05:08 PM - Forum: Off Topic - Replies (6)

Good thing he did not make a willie warmer  tinywondering

Quote:By The Siberian Times reporter
09 August 2018
Designed in Russia's coldest region, the unique headgear is tens of thousands of years old - and prickly.
[Image: information_items_7460.jpg]
It is being put own sale by its creator Vladimir Ammosov, 44, a builder from Yakutsk.
The amazing hat is woven from hair from the woolly beast preserved in permafrost since the Ice Age.
It is being put own sale by its creator Vladimir Ammosov, 44, a builder from Yakutsk.
'My relative went to a woolly mammoth graveyard site at Kazachye village in Ust-Yanskiy in Yakutia. 
'He picked up a full plastic bag of woolly mammoth hair and later sold it to me because he needed money. 
[Image: inside_hat_1.jpg]



[Image: inside_closeup.jpg]



[Image: inside_hat_certificate.jpg]
He verified that this was indeed authentic hair from the extinct beasts.
'I kept looking at the bag, wondering what to do with the hair, and then thought why not to try and make a hat? 
'In Yakutia, we make traditional round hats of horse hair, so why not to try and use mammoth hair and to create something truly unique?’
He hired a specialist hat maker to crochet the hate in Yakutian style. 
He also verified with Semyon Grigoryev, director of Yakutia's Mammoth Museum, that this was indeed authentic hair from the extinct beasts.
[Image: inside_hat_profile.jpg]



[Image: inside_hat_2.jpg]



[Image: inside_hairs.jpg]



[Image: inside_calf.jpg]
He hired a specialist hat maker to crochet the hate in Yakutian style. 
'This was the prickliest hat I have ever worn,’ said the expert.
'It is completely odourless, but unlike, say, bisons, woolly mammoth had really rough hair. 
'Wearing the hat felt like I was having a head massage'. 
Traditionally round crocheted hats made of horse hair are for men to wear on special occasions like the Yakutian news year holiday or Yhyakh - at the summer solstice.  
[Image: inside_semyon.jpg]
Semyon Grigoryev, director of Yakutia's Mammoth Museum. 
'We believe these hats are worn by men; I think it cones from older times when such hats were worn under warriors helmets,’ said Vladimir.
'But since we live in 21st century, I don't see any problem with a woman or a child purchasing and wearing the hat.' 
Maria Kim from Megino-Kangalassky district, who makes traditional horse hair hats, said: ‘People who wear them say that the constant feeling of skin massage helps with blood pressure and normalises headaches
.’
source

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  pregnant women with their husbands
Posted by: 727Sky - 08-11-2018, 03:11 PM - Forum: Humor, Jokes & Pranks - Replies (2)

Quote:The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.

Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."

"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" said the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"



Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
 
 
This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.

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  Are Anti virus programs privacy policies a "must read"
Posted by: Wallfire - 08-11-2018, 01:34 PM - Forum: Computers, Internet and the Digital World - Replies (1)

I have had a little time to look at different anti virus privacy policies. What I have done is look at firms that are giving away free one year licences.
First I read the PP then I look at the country they are based in.

Zemana seems to be a good program but when you combine there PP (https://www.zemana.com/privacy) and the country there main office is in, (also over the years they have done very many free licences) I think one needs to be careful. Is Turkey and its leadership the sort of country you want to have your info, can you trust any firm based there not to put spy ware on your PC if ordered by the "government".

Next is kaspersky, read its PP (https://www.kaspersky.com/web-privacy-policy) think about where it HQ is ( Russia), is that a country you want to have your info, will this firm hand over all your info and put spy ware on your PC if "asked" by the government.

Heimdalsecurity, read its PP (https://heimdalsecurity.com/license-agre...acy-policy) its not so good but on the plus side it cannot be controled by the government as its based in Denmark, so I would say its safe (ish)
 
What im trying to say is always read a firms PP ( REMEMBER THAT AN ANTI VIRUS TYPE PROGRAM HAS FULL RUN OF YOUR PC) and look where the HQ is based. I never use any programs such as VPNs that are based in GB.
If you think that you have nothing to fear becouse you are doing nothing wrong, remember what Cardinal Richelieu (1585-1642 said

If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men, I will find something in them which will hang him.

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  WEATHER WARS, CA FIRES, AGENDA 21
Posted by: Mystic Wanderer - 08-10-2018, 03:42 PM - Forum: Man Made Disasters - Replies (6)

This is an interview with Deborah Tavares on Project Camelot.  It is really interesting and, in my opinion, one that everyone around the world should watch.

Deborah goes into the fires that are being ignited worldwide by using advanced energy technology and the reasoning behind it. The Smart Meters are also used in the agenda, which is depopulation and community relocation into certain areas.

This information is quite scary if everything Deborah says comes to pass. It makes me think of The Book of Revelations in the KJV Bible. Are "they" trying to fulfill prophecy of the Earth being destroyed by fire by playing "God"?




https://youtu.be/7As3d9NgDyk

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  A Shooting In New Brunswick, Canada.
Posted by: BIAD - 08-10-2018, 01:38 PM - Forum: Canada and the Great North - Replies (2)

Just Breaking...

Quote:Canada shooting: Several dead in Fredericton, New Brunswick.

'Canadian police say at least four people have been killed in a shooting in the eastern city of Fredericton, New Brunswick.
They have advised residents of Brookside Drive to "stay in their homes with doors locked at this time for their safety".

The public should avoid the area, they said. "We will provide more details as soon as we can," city police tweeted.
Authorities described the shooting as an "active incident".
A local TV reporter said he heard four gunshots just after 11:00 GMT.

Nick Moore, a journalist from CTV Atlantic, posted video footage of the scene on Twitter, showing emergency vehicles
outside a house...'
BBC:

Quote:Canadian police: At least four dead in shooting in New Brunswick.

'Canadian police say at least four people have been killed in a shooting in Fredericton, New Brunswick,

in the east of the country. The incident is ongoing.

Fredericton Police said they were responding to the incident in the Brookside Drive area of the city at about
7:30 a.m. local time Friday. The circumstances of the shooting weren't immediately clear. Police said further
information would be provided when more details are confirmed. 

"The public is asked to avoid the area and stay in their homes with doors locked at this time for their safety,"
police tweeted. Firefighters and paramedics have also been deployed to the scene, Canadian broadcaster
CBC reported. 

Robert DiDiodato, who lives near the scene of the incident, said he heard a series of "firecracker" noises at
about 7 a:m., CBC reported. "With the tempo, it might've been a gunshot. It was sort of like a pop, pop, pop, pop,"
he said. He said he heard similar sounds about five minutes later.
"Doors are locked and everybody's inside," he said, according to CBC. 

Fredericton, the capital of in New Brunswick province, has a population of about 60,000...'
USA Today:

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  New Mexico's School-Shooting Training Camp.
Posted by: BIAD - 08-09-2018, 08:44 AM - Forum: General News and Events - Replies (18)

This article is connected to Mystic's link from the Shout Box.
If my logic is correct, the USA has been already invaded... Does David Hogg know?!


Quote:Extremist Muslim was ‘training 11 starving children to carry out school shootings’

'A man arrested in a raid on a squalid compound in New Mexico was training children living there to
carry out school shootings, prosecutors said Wednesday.
[Image: attachment.php?aid=4290]


Siraj Ibn Wahhaj, 40, was arrested along with four other people on Friday at the desert compound in
Amalia, New Mexico, and has been charged with 11 counts of child abuse. Eleven children aged one
to 15 were found living on the compound in filthy conditions, prosecutors said, with no clean water or
electricity. Authorities also found little in the way of food.

Wahhaj is also under investigation for the death of a 12th child –possibly his son, Abdul-Ghani Wahhaj
–whose body was discovered on the property. Prosecutors quoted the foster parent of one of the children
as claiming that Wahhaj ‘had trained the child in the use of an assault rifle in preparation for future school
shootings.’

As a result, he faces another investigation for teaching ‘the use, application or making of any firearm,
destructive device or technique capable of causing injury or death’ with the intention that the knowledge
be used unlawfully –which is classed as a felony.

‘The Defendant … is under investigation … based upon the training of children with weapons in furtherance
of a conspiracy to commit school shootings,’ prosecutors said Wednesday in a court filing requesting that
Wahhaj be held in custody.

[Image: attachment.php?aid=4291]


‘Trip hazards, woods with nails sticking up, broken glass, bottles, and open trenches littered the property,’ it
added. ‘Trash scattered around the property, no clean water, no electricity, no indoor plumbing and the children
were clothed in rags.’

Prosecutors also said loaded firearms were found at the compound.
‘(Wahhaj) poses a great danger to the children found on the property as well as a threat to the community as a
whole due to the presence of firearms and his intent to use these firearms in a violent and illegal manner,’ the filing
said.

Three women believed to be the mothers of the 11 children found at the compound were also arrested in Friday’s
raid along with another man, Lucas Morten, and charged with child abuse. Wahhaj is wanted in the state of Georgia
for the alleged abduction of his four-year-old son.

Authorities are investigating whether the remains found at the New Mexico compound are those of missing Abdul.
In the first operation, when the 11 children were discovered, Abdul was not found. But officers returned to the site after
questioning the suspects last week, which led them to believe that the boy was still there.

We discovered the remains yesterday on Abdul’s fourth birthday,’ Taos County Sheriff Jerry Hogrefe said Tuesday,
appearing to fight back tears. The boy’s mother had told police her child, who she said suffered from seizures along
with developmental and cognitive delays, went to the park with his father Wahhaj last December and never returned.

She also told authorities Wahhaj wanted to exorcise his son because he considered that his disability was due to a
demon...'
SOURCE:



Attached Files Thumbnail(s)
       
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  Immigration raids
Posted by: guohua - 08-09-2018, 04:17 AM - Forum: General News and Events - No Replies

That's Right, ICE is performing one  of the jobs it was created to do.
Wake Up Business Men and Women hiring Illegals, Obama Aint The President Anymore! minusculenonono  We have a REAL President   minusculeclap

Quote:Immigration raids in Nebraska, Minnesota target businesses
Watch the Liberal - Progressives Heads Explode after this.
[Image: 800.jpeg]

Quote:OMAHA, Neb. (AP) — A large federal law enforcement operation conducted Wednesday targeted businesses in Nebraska and Minnesota that officials say knowingly hired — and mistreated — immigrants who are in the U.S. illegally.

The investigative arm of U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement — Homeland Security Investigations — led the operation that saw about a dozen businesses and plants raided and 17 business owners and managers indicted for fraud, wire fraud and money laundering.
Of those, 14 were taken into custody Wednesday and three were still being sought.

Authorities also arrested more than 130 workers at various businesses, busing them to Grand Island, Nebraska, to be questioned and processed.

Most of the arrests occurred in northern Nebraska and southern Minnesota. Several of the businesses were in O’Neill, Nebraska, a town of about 3,000 about 160 miles (260 kilometers) northwest of Omaha. Officials said they were still looking to take three owners or managers into custody as part of the operation.
Source
The Liberals will Scream about the Separation of Families, OK, Pack them all up, wife, husband, kids and the pregnant 15 year old and her boyfriend and ship them BACK!

The business men and managers that hired these people over Citizens, need to be Prosecuted.
Don't give me That Bull Shit, No American Would Do That Job, No,,, not for Five Dollars and hour!!!  tinysure

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  Democrat Shoots a man
Posted by: guohua - 08-08-2018, 09:55 PM - Forum: General News and Events - Replies (5)

This is interesting.
But, This article must be bogus because only Right Wingers have AR15s and go around shooting people. Right? Here we have a Democrat attempting to murder somebody with an unregistered assault rifle? it's Just Impossible because he is a Known Follower of Obama on Twitter.
That explains why a Father of Two would be a Pizza Delivery Driver. Democrat + Obama Follower = Loser!

Quote:Unfriended! Democrat drives to man's house and shoots him after heated political disagreement on Facebook
Quote:Facebook dispute boiled over into real life on Monday when a Democrat drove over to another man's home and shot him.

Brian Sebring, 44, of Tampa, Florida, was arrested for shooting Alex Stephens, 46, also of Tampa, in the thigh and buttocks after their online disagreement.
Police say the row began when the two men disagreed over politics on Facebook, and Stephens reportedly began sending Sebring 'explicit messages and threats'.
[Image: 4EEDDE4C00000578-6039385-image-m-4_1533732085725.jpg] This is the Shooter, the Democrat and Pizza Delivery Driver with a Family  tinywhat
[Image: 4EEDDE3400000578-6039385-image-a-5_1533732095474.jpg] This is the guy that got shot in his Thigh and Butt! An ex felon.  tinybighuh  He can Have a political View Too and it can be Different From Your's, Mr. Democrat!
[Image: 4EEDDD0000000578-6039385-image-a-6_1533732157668.jpg]
Sebring armed himself with an AR-15 and a Glock and drove over to Stephens' house in Wallace Ave (pictured) - just two miles from his own home

Quote:Stephens was taken to Tampa General Hospital with non-life threatening injuries after the shooting. 


Police did not explain the nature of the political dispute on Facebook which ignited the row, and it is not apparent on either of their pages.


It is unclear who Stephens, a felon, supports politically, but Sebring, a pizza delivery driver and married father-of-two, is a registered Democrat who follows Barack Obama on Twitter.


It's not clear how the men know each other although both attended Tampa's Robinson High School, in different years.

Sebring, of Leila Avenue, turned himself in and was arrested on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and carrying a concealed firearm.

He was booked into the Hillsborough County jail and his bail set at $9,500.
Source
OK, unless this Pizza Delivery Guy has a wife wife a good job and money, he's not posting any Bond to get out of jail.
Plus, I don't think he'll be Delivering Pizza anymore ether unless the Pizza Shop is a Big Obama and Hillary Supporter and Candons this kind of Unlawful actions.
Put this guy is a Democrat and believes deep down that the Government Should Support him and his family with a paycheck and free housing and free education and free healthcare. That's why he voted for Obama and still votes Democrat, isn't it?

I didn't know people made a career out of "Delivering Pizza",  tinywhat

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  POLICE CAPTURE ILLEGAL POSING WITH ‘DAUGHTER’ HE WAS RAPING
Posted by: Wallfire - 08-08-2018, 02:08 PM - Forum: General News and Events - Replies (3)

It seems you have the same fun and games "over there"

Quote:9:39 PM 08/07/2018
Saagar Enjeti | White House Correspondent



U.S. officials have arrested an illegal alien for multiple counts of rape after he tried to gain entry to the United States with a child he claimed was his daughter, a DHS official said in a Tuesday statement.
A DHS official noted that the illegal alien, Ramon Pedro, arrived with a young girl he claimed was his daughter at the Ysleta Port of Entry in Texas in mid-April.
After Pedro and his claimed daughter was hospitalized for tuberculosis testing in July, U.S. authorities discovered she was not only not related to him in any way but was being systematically sexually abused by him.
“In fact, the victim’s mother told her daughter to accompany Pedro to the United States and he would secure her employment,” a DHS official said, adding that “on July 27, 2018, the Huron Police Department arrested him for multiple felony offenses for rape, oral copulation, forcible sexual penetration and endangering/causing injury to a child. He is currently detained in Fresno County Jail on a $310,000 bond.”

Pedro’s arrest highlights a central concern of U.S. authorities as large numbers of Central American migrants arrive at the U.S.-Mexico border with children, which authorities say is a way to flout U.S. law. Current U.S. law requires that authorities eventually release into the interior of the country any non-contiguous country illegal immigrant who claims asylum.
The Trump administration attempted to temporarily quell this phenomenon by criminally prosecuting all illegal aliens at the border which resulted in some cases of separating families at the border. President Donald Trump eventually issued an executive order stopping the practice

source

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